PEICE 25 CENTS. 

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No. 19. 

— ][ — 



What's the Use, 



By J. H. Eehoe. 




ADOLPH £. REIM. 

Publisher, 
MILWAUKEE, - WISCONSIN. 



No. 19. 
What's The Use. 



A SKETCH 



By J. H. Kchoe. 



Entered according to act of Congress in the year 1910, hy Adolph 
E. Beim, in the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washing- 
ton, D. C. 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 



Mrs. Greene. 
Miss Kate. 

Mr. (iREENE. 

Maggie. 

Miss Mabel. 

TiMe — 10 to IT niiniitcs. 



ADOLPH E. REIM. 

Publisher, 
MILWAUKEE, - WISCONSIN. 






TMP96-0064£8 



©CI,D 23690 



WHAT'S THE USE. 



(Enter Kate, hangs wraps on racJc, lools over mall on Greene's 
desk, finds one for self, reads). 

"Dearest Kate : — Meet me to-night at the same okl phiee ami at 
the same time. I wou't say more now. I thiiilv I'll have the cour- 
age to tell you the rest to-night. Good-bye until then. Bushels of 
love, yours Jack." Dear old Jack, I wonder if he will have the 
nerve — it's a pity his eyes can't take his tongue's part for a few 
moments and then he might be able to tell me. But I know, just 
the same, but I'll make him tell it if it takes another two years. 
(Seriously). (Sits at her desk). I wonder if he would love me if 
he knew the game I am playing with Greene. I don't know but 
that I would rather settle down in a nice little flat with Jack and 
his 20 a week — ('Phone rings, arises and goes to Greene's desk to 
answer). "Hello, yes, no, he hasn't come down yet. Yes, I'll tell 
him — good-bye." (Hangs up). Gee, but she's a sassy piece! 

(Enter Greene). 

Greene — Good morning, Kitty. 

K. — Good morning. You look like the reflection of a big night. 
Your wifle has just called up, seems to be real angry about some- 
thing. Better have the 'phone examined, I'll bet she burnt a fuse. 

G. — Well I ai» not surprised that she's a little off. I neglected to 
go home last night. Well, here's where I make Annanias look like 
a George Washington! (Takes 'phone). "Hello Central, give me 
North 7297. Hello, is that you dear, — now dear, I couldn't help 
it, we had a full meeting, I mean the w^hole board met last night." 

K — (Aside). Board meeting 1. Give me 3 cards please. 

G. — "Yes, but dear, I missed the last train so decided to stay at 
the club. Now, be a good girl, dear — come down and I'll take you 



4 WHAT S THE USE, 

out to lunch — all right, good-bye, sweetheart." (Han(js up). I'm 
glad that's out of my system. Say, Kate, but I had some time last 
night and maybe I don't feel it this morning. Don't you think a 
little song would make me feel better? 

A'.— AVhat! here in the office? 

r/.— Oh. that won't matter. 

Song — 

r/. — That's fine, I do feel better, guess I'll tackle the mall, {'phone 
riiif/s. G. ansircrfi). "Hello, yes dear, won't be down for lunch? All 
right dear, I'll be home early for dinner — good-bye. (Opens 4 ot^ 5 
letters). Bills, bills, nothing but bills. Say Kitty, affairs have come 
to a climax. I've got to have money. 

A'. — Why don't you tell your troubles to your darling wife? She 
inherited a cool million didn't she? 

G. — Yes, and it's done me about as much as if it had been ten 
dollars. 

K. — You once told me you would have it in thirty days after you 
married her. 

G. — Yes, I did make such a boast, but I was sadly mistaken. Why, 
the way she holds on to that money, she makes Hetty Green look 
like a spendthrift. She thinks I make barrels of money and her mil- 
lion is only a nest egg for a rainy day; and, if she only knew it. 
it has been raining ever since we were married and from the present 
forecast there will be more rain and prospects of a flood. But, I'll 
concoct a scheme yet, get a couple hundred thousand and 

A^— Then what? 

G. — Well, we will put a "To let" sign on the door and you and I 
will buy a one way ticket for a voyage over the sea of love. (Em- 
braec). 

{Enter Maggie icitli ducket and mop}. 

Maggie— Ahem, — {G. d K. break away and jump to desks, he- 
come very husg). 

M. — Jes go ahead, don't mind me, I've been there. 
G. — ^What do you want? 
.1/.— Nothing. 



WHATS THE USE. 5 

G.— Well, get out of here then! 

M. — And I won't. I'm going to clean up this office. 

G. — So, you are the new scrub girl? Well, get through and get 
out of here — we are busy. 

M. — {Grinning). Yes, very, when I first come in. 

K. — ^The sassy thing! 

G. — ^None of that — get through and get out of here. (Resumes 
xcork). 

(M. wipes hack and legs of chairs with cloth, sits in chairs, whisks 
around and siceeps dust off seat with skirt, gets on knees (town cen- 
ter and scrubs poor singing in high cracked voice). 

G. — What's the matter with that voice? 

M. — I had it corrugated. 

G. — I think you did : it sounds slightly twisted. 

(M. resumes seruhhing, humming tune). 

G. — {Goes to Kate's desk to diciate letter, sees Kodak on her 
desk, picks it up). Where did you get this? 

K. — I am going to take some flashlights of my room to-night, let 
me take your picture? 

G. — No, let me take yours. I have it, let's have them taken to- 
gether ! 

iC.— But who will take it? 

G. — That's right! Say, Nordica, think you could take a picture? 

M. — I kin try. {AriKc.s). 

G. — All right. But Kitty, have you any flashlight cartridges? 

K. — Yes, I have some right here. (Gires him one). 

(G. pla<^es kodak on tripod up center, puts cartridge on top, arran- 
ges two chairs center facing kodak, glues M. gas lighter). 

G. — Now, when I say ready, you light this power on top, it won't 
hurt you, when it flashes you press the bulb. 

(G. darkens office, he and K. sit in chairs, Kate's head on /</.s^ 
shoulder, his arm around her). 

G. — Ready! {Kisses her). 

{Cartritdge flashes, dark stage, K. steps toicard her desk, G. places 
chair back beside door. M. attacks K. throws her back over her 
desk. G. rushes to !<epara1c them, thvon-s M. up center. M. throws 
off disguise). 



(j WHAT'S THE USE. 

Q, — What doot^ this moan? [Tliroirs up fihade or opens iloor, light 
stage, fast huslness). 

M. — It means I've found you out ! 

G.—My wife! 

Mrs. Greene — Yes, your wife, tliougli I'm ashamed to admit it! 

G. — But my dear! 

j^lrs. G. — Don't dear me. I've suspected this for a long time, hut 
only wanted proof and now I have it in here (Takes kodak). I'll 
apply for a divorce and produce this picture in court as evidence of 
your perfidy. 

G. — But, my dear, it was only a joke. 

Mrs. G. — A joke was it? Joking when I first came !n wasn't you? 
Your office life must be a continual joke. You thought you could 
fool me with your thin lies — no use to lie any more, {moves to- 
ivard door tcith kodak), this is the finish. (Exit). 

(Katie has heen siting on the edge of her desk u'ith hack to 
audience, now turns to G. dmcn right, one eye black). 

K. — Now this is a pretty mess, isn't it? (Gets hat and wraps, 
returns down stage putting on hat). 

G. — Where are you going? 

K. — Home, of course! 

G. — But, dear, don't leave me now. I love you, Kate, we can 
get married when she gets her divorce, 

K. — Love me? You don't love anybody. Marry you? Never! I 
only wanted your money, or the money I thought you had the brains 
to get. I can't blame your wife for swinging on to it. No, Greenie, 
3^ou had better try to square it up with wifie ; but I guess there's 
no use — I think she's wise. (Goes to door). 

G. — Don't leave me now, Kate, I love you. I'll kill myself if you 
throw me over now. 

K. — That's a joke, you haven't the nerve — your revolver is in your 
desk. But wait until I get out before you shoot. I've got a head- 
ache. (Ruhs eye). (Exit). 

G. — Sits at desk, takes revolver out of desk and looks it over) 
So this is the finish is it? (Hears girl singing in next office, looks 
over). Good-morning, Miss Mabel. 

Mabel — Good-morning, Mr. G. 

G. — How do you like your job? 

Mabel — Not much. The boss is too slow. 

G. — Anyone over there? 



WHAT S THE USE. 7 

Mahel — No. 

(r. — May I come over? 

Mahel — Sure — I'm lonesome. 

(Grene looks at (jini, throivs it on the desk). 

G. — To Hell with that g;\m, what's the use? (Orahs hat and ex- 
its). 

—CURTAIN— 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 
MAH 20 1911 



MAR 20 i9U 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



016 103 577 4 



